Asking me point-blank if Id like to go on a date with you is going to make me feel really uncomfortable. Anyway. Cheesy romance story. Keep a close eye on who listens intently to what youre saying, and who just wants to hear themselves talk. er, to clarify, where tipping is the majority of the income. I need her back. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually signals and not them just doing their job. Thats great in theory & hopefully one day we get there as a society, but the cold hard fact is that women are so much more likely than men to be assaulted or coerced on a date. If I helped, Im glad! This way, both of you can learn more about each other while also discovering new places at the same time; an enjoyable experience for everyone involved! I really enjoy talking to you here and Ive thought it might be nice to do it outside of work sometime. The way she did it was to grab another waitress and say hey, Id like to give my number to our waiter. She said she knew me already and found it a little odd, but we always have a lot of eye contact and banter. Do it OP. Oh sorry, I'm a little distracted, I'm trying to get in the zone. We ended up going separate ways in life, but he was a total gentleman and excellent +1 while it did last, and I still hold him in high regard years later. (I was visiting my hometown, where he worked, but I lived pretty far away.). Hi. It would be ok if you ran into an employee somewhere else organically. Poor, oblivious Husband. This will not get you a natural reaction and is prone to outside interaction from her co-workers and such. with a side of awkward (sorry, I play for team rainbow, but good luck to you). She's not interested. Assuming you have written your number in that note, she will text/call you if she is interested, otherwise you should not try to do anything more. Book club. That, of course, is why lots of managers would rather customers notask out their employees its a good way to lose customers who then feel too awkward to return. It puts the ball in her court, but at the same time provides some asynchronous communication so that she doesn't have to react if she doesn't want to (which is why I said 'don't ask'). Its pretty much a lose/lose situation all around. We laughed and decided best to keep things at friendly store chats. Meeting someone at a party (or going to a movie, while were on the topic) are not especially good first dates when youre attempting to get to know someone better. Is "I didn't think it was serious" usually a good defence against "duty to rescue"? Its not *dating* phobia per se its management phobia. 8 Tips to Pickup Cute Cashier Girls in Stores and Restaurants Always follow up after the date if you had fun spending time together, even if it was just for one night! So the power dynamic is not so different. My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night and it'll be our first performance all year. * #notallmenobviously, note the qualifier. A lot of males who work in retail treat their job like the Bachelor and its extremely frowned on. A man then became irate, police said and waited for the cashier to walk away. is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? My goal here is to help you not mess up. I know I can just walk up to her and be like "you're cute, wanna go out?" She said shes there to work, not to get hit on or asked out. Q: How should I approach the cashier? If you think hes interested, write your phone/text number down and as youre leaving, talk with him a bit, smile, give your number to him and say if you ever want to talk outside of work, call me or text me then leave. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Therefore, don't ask her when her shift ends, or to meet in the rapey spot at the back of the parking lot, after her shift, when it's all dark and gloomy. Enough folks in customer-service positions have testified on that thread that they get unwanted solicitations so often that even if you are the nice person who means really well, you might still be a REALLY annoying straw on that camels back. If you do say anything, I suggest giving her an easy out, such as: "Would you like to get coffee after work, or do you have a policy against socializing with customers?". Since you're not asking if you should or not but HOW you should ask her then I'd suggest you to try to ask her something like "Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to have a coffee/drink with me sometimes ?". Say it in a way that shows you mean it--smile and look (2) In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. Talk about power dynamics. Is there any acceptable way to ask retail staff for a date? If you are standing in a queue and the cashier is chatting with the person in front, if you try to interrupt, you are considered to be either in a desperate rush (which would be highly irregular) or pretty rude. Its awkward. In a bar, she could just turn around and leave, but not here. I had one regular while I was a barista ask me out in what seemed to be a sincere way, but when I turned him down then showed up every single goddamn day and stared at me for almost a month. The thing is that you seem to be looking at this as though these two people are meeting as equals, but theyre not. I would even say that depending on the size and style of the shop (i.e. Some people can make it work, sometimes. Where I live now, in Central European rural areas that latter point is the predominant norm. Q: How can I gain confidence to ask a cashier out? Youre not leaping from someone making your latte to a dinner date, AND youre not forcing them to respond right away, you know, when theyre working. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. I think they key with both couples is that there were adults and past the minimum wage jobs. Your best hope here is to have a random encounter with her in a more social setting like a bar, where it is a lot more socially acceptable to offer someone a drink/phone number if they indicate an interest in you. Then, awkwardness. tru dat mirth!!.. Some points of potential special cases. Asking her out directly seems like a bad idea. Instead, in these situations, I've found something that works much better for both of you. During yo Its realllllly hard to know someones sexual orientation when discussing a cinnamon bun or what have you. Practice in front of a mirror or with friends, so that you are comfortable speaking and expressing yourself before you actually approach the cashier. Most notably, the fireman passed his number through those people to give to her, and left it up to her to contact him if she was interested. At my local supermarket, some of the cashiers take smoke breaks near the public the entrance of the supermarket. I think you should go for it. The key difference was that he had been coming into my bookstore for at least 6 months and chit-chatting with me about stuff, usually books but other things as well, before asking me out. I was the only female that worked there, and getting hit on generally happened in two categories. My main concern was that I didnt want to put this person in an uncomfortable position or jeopardize his job, and what youve recommended sounds like it would work so thanks very much for the advice :), Oops, that was supposed to be a response to and we danced from the ocean. I don't think it'll make her uncomfortable, but there's a finer way still. My guess is that the OP is a man, simply because men (of all orientations) are more likely to hit on service employees than women are. Many people really dont know how to interact with someone of the opposite sex in a way thats not flirtatious and/or interpret any positive interaction with the opposite sex as flirtation (Im a lot better about this now than I was in my teens and twenties, but I still catch myself thinking/acting like this sometimes). I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. I definitely advocate making any sort of social overture carefully and without undue pressure, I just dont know that I can agree with the voices advocating for blanket ban. Or cheese fries because my friend bailed. You have no idea how she feels about it until you actually ask so the only way to find out is to flat our ask her. This is so uncomfortable to me. If she did say "no" or not respond, after that interaction as you continue to go to the market, just behave casually as you normally would and if you go through her line be polite and friendly but with no expectations. I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former.. A new cashier joined my local food shop. Its awesome. bulding up your anxiety is all.. .. have you asked anyone there casually where that one girl is, and what's her name?? +1. But the guys who were polite and made a no pressure suggestion to grab coffee or see a movie sometime or whatever, were not doing anything wrong. You can round file it if you like but Ill do as I please. The problem? By doing this, you will actually get more insight regarding whether she likes you or she is just being polite. I too worked retail and was both hit on and asked out. Not most. If youre looking to get your hands on the Man Catcher in Castle Crashers, then youre in luck! Dont arrive at a house and find there are no other guests. +1000. (Explaining this because some people look at me funny when I talk about going to the drive-thru). They do it every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm - the admission fee is 5 Euro. Again, Be casual, play it cool and do not put pressure on it, and Im saying this because I think youll go through with it. Would it really be flattering if you got asked out at work? the supervisors were involved to pass the information from him to her. Simple things. He gave me his number and I called him to make plans. Im a male, nearly 30, and I have been going back and forth for weeks about somehow asking out this cashier at a grocery store I frequent. And heres my story to support that: back in my retail days, I worked in a shop that primarily catered to women, and men coming in tended to get a bit of special attention since they were something of a rarity (and often needed a little extra help from the employees). I hope this helps. So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. I also want to say DONT DO IT! Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been. Sadly due to lack of nametag I do not. ..what country do you live in? He has enjoyed a long career at the top of his field, appearing in acclaimed films, shows and advertisements. Correct. WebIf a cashier asks out a customer, its easier for the customer to shop at another store or time. If youre going to do this, the leaving your number AND THEN LEAVING, with the expectation of not returning to that business, is the least awful approach. He was 20 and I was 32. Heres my number, no pressure if youre not interested. I was able to give my friend additional details and she said that the employee sounds nervous and that I should just give him a note, and that in fact, a customer of her own has been leaving notes for awhile and they are now dating. I've been wanting to ask out a cashier, how do I avoid making her There are those rare occasions where it works out and they get married and live happily ever after, and Im an absolute sucker for those stories of taking a chance and it working out wonderfully. IMO, it is always 100% creepy to ask out a server/service employee waiting on you, period. Its a place of business, not a singles bar. Now if in chatting it comes up that you and your friends frequent X location on Saturday nights because you love live music etc, and they show up there to say hello or you happen to run into them elsewhere, its more of a grey area thats more arguably okay. She did fret for quite a bit over whether she was misreading general customer-facing friendliness for flirting, or whether he really was interested in her, but only platonically. No one likes that. I am a fairly attractive, personable guy and have been asked out by several customers over the years, and its never been a problem. There's an implicit power imbalance between customer and employee. How To Restart Mission Rdr2? Also, the OP doesnt need to overthink: the answer is almost certainly no. Hes probably being nice to the OP because being nice to customers is part of his job. Inviting the person to a group thing seems way more comfortable than asking them on a date, in my opinion. An awkward situation she is placed in repeatedly by men, through no doing of her own and with no way to prevent it, due to their sex drives. We looked into each others' eyes for about two weeks. Unless we want to rely on eHarmony to produce the next generation, you have to take advantage of opportunities that present in the real world.. 2) I would be told wow you actually play video games? while striking up a conversation trying to get the customer to reserve an upcoming title or subscribe to our magazine or whatever. If "no" seems like it would damage, hurt or invalidate you, get to healthcare and work that out. Retail employees have to be nice to customers. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Would you be interested in going out sometime?. do I need to wear nylons to a job interview or are bare legs OK? Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. And you might realise hey, I only want this person as a friend. WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? Short story about swapping bodies as a job; the person who hires the main character misuses his body. With this knowledge in mind, she's common-senseley (making up words!) And then you never, ever speak of it again. This is exactly what I was coming here to post. This looks for me like a long comment and not like an answer. I got hit on more in 6 or 8 months there than I have in the rest of my life put together. At least if I was cleaning up aisles or stocking shelves, I could pretend to escape into the backroom. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I own a game store with a terrible manager who I'm afraid to fire. He was confused she asked, Did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. I definitely agree with all of the suggestions about keeping casual and low-key and, if he turns you down, continuing to interact with him as though nothing happened. A woman, by her nature, is careful with whom she picks as her mate, biologically speaking, women carry a big responsibility for their off-spring. Although again, sadly, he still might have a GF. I actually thought the OP might be a man. after coffee. Im sick of this and I dont have to take it! One reason why you hear more and more complaints from women in retail is precisely because they are empowered, not because, as you seem to be implying, that we are all a bunch of fragile, frigid, special snowflakes who want to criminalize all interactions between men and women.. Some were way too persistent. and after a few encounters we started really talking if there was no other customers around. Youre missing the point. One was reeeally bad: the guy saw this woman at Target (they were both customers) and saw her in the parking lot and asked if she needed a ride because it didnt look like she was walking to her car. Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). This could go either way! It is a safe bet that they're all just doing their job. Like youre causing major pain to someone by giving them your #. Just be polite. And there's the factor that when men are hurt, they sometimes hurt back. Youre the second person to mention Facebook. There's this cute girl at a local shop that I visit every day. What I say may sound weird to some, but you can actually be cool and nice to women without any second thoughts. Or buy more items so you have more time to make small talk. Still, +1 for your analysis and advice to the OP. I remember the last time we were shopping at an REI a lady cashier (Im guessing who also assists with the wall-climbing area) was talking to a guy (I think who also works at the wall-climbing area too). About 15 years ago I met a girl working at a local convenience store. Established relationships longer than 6 months posts should go to r/relationship_advice I used to work retail and used to get both hit on and asked out a lot. I didnt know there was a section in Craigslist like that. A: Rejection can be tough, but its important to accept it gracefully. At restaurants this happened a lot and I was never offended and it was only slightly awkward for a moment and a simple I have a boyfriend always worked as a no whether I had one or not. Hmm Im on the fence here. That said, if the OP is a woman interested in a man, her odds of him going psychotic on her are a lot lower than in the reverse, so she might have better luck. Thats a lot different from walking into a store and asking someone whos rung you up at the cash register three or four times to go to dinner with you. This is why her name is "girl" int this post. Of course. We never talked beside "hello". And above all, don't pressure her. This will help reduce any anxiety and make it easier for you to get the words out when the time comes. Although once I did meet a very nice young man who sneaked back in after his party had left to ask me for my phone number but promised that he would never sit in my section again if that embarrassed me or made me uncomfortable. I also had freedom to roam, which, of course, a barista doesnt have. Religious group. Good thing I didnt leave work yet :/. We've just spoken briefly a few times i doubt she remember who i am, "i have won million dollars lottery in cash and i can't count them! OP, I did this once. If you cant meet a stranger in a public coffee shop on your own, how on earth is internet dating supposed to work? How to ask out your cashier? - GirlsAskGuys Most importantly, if you see that she doesn't want to engage in a conversation with you, do not insist. I dont regret it though. How to ask a store clerk to leave you alone without being rude? Your a cashier right? The cashier probably wouldnt know how to find him if he just stopped showing up. Hi, OP here. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Women arent delicate flowers and men, as a gender whole, arent big scary monsters. (Then again, he might also think youre a shoplifter, for all I know But probably not.). I wanted to ask her out or leave a note but last couple times I get super nervous when I'm about to do it. And thanks for the suggestion for a no-pressure meet-up, thats a super idea! I believe we're all mature enough to understand the fact that people react differently to you based on how they feel about you. I once asked a girl to explain what she meant, when what she actually wanted to say would have been perfectly clear if we had been in a bar. Try to greet incoming customers within 30 seconds. Your interaction with the cashier is constrained by work rules (she has to be nice to you) and also social norms. But I will also say I met one really great boyfriend while working. Is he single? The waitress said he was single and that hed love to get a number so we left her number with her credit car receipt. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. By clicking Post Your Answer, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy. I used to work at a library too and we were always told not to give out our full names and to be vigilant of patrons. Or care. OP think twice, thrice, four times before you do this. But see how youve mentally filed this under social interactions? isn't found by making her uncomfortable. Sadly, some people prey on strangers they consider potentially vulnerable, regardless of gender. Not eHarmony, they discriminate against gays and lesbians. Does it really matter if the guy is asking her out because hes acutely horny or just anticipates being horny? 1) I was a girl and that was enough to get comments
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